<p>As someone diagnosed with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, it’s painful to see our society make some of my symptoms trendy. I remember one day coming out of a flashback, to overhear someone say “no that’s so traumatizing!” in response to someone venting about how their best friend accidentally spilled coffee on their brand new shirt. That’s not trauma. That’s a bad experience, or maybe a bit embarrassing. But not trauma. You might have to clean up the shirt and need to talk about it with a few friends, but you likely won’t have nightmares or flashbacks that leave you paralyzed over it.</p><h3>What is Trauma?</h3><p>Trauma relates to the bodily and emotional feelings of fight or flight that do not go away. Trauma is debilitating, and is not easy to get over. It’s taken me years of therapy, including countless therapists, and utilizing cutting-edge treatments to even begin to process my traumas. And truth be told? I still am not over some of it.&nbsp;</p><p>I’ve been seeing this debate on social media about gatekeeping terms, such as trauma, flashbacks, and nightmares. Some say that it’s not right to gatekeep them, that you don’t know how it impacts them. And I mean sure, we do not need to invalidate or gaslight other people’s experiences. But, we also do not need to use debilitating symptoms as an everyday negative experience term.&nbsp;</p><h3>Our Brains &amp; Experiences</h3><p>Some negative experiences are SUPPOSED to rewire your brain. That’s how you learn! For example, getting a bad grade on a test you forgot to study for is supposed to make you feel bad. That’s how you learn how to study differently. That’s a natural part of human life. Abuse, sexual assault, ongoing bullying, or other near-death experiences will rewire your brain too, but not in the same way. Those experiences will lead you to feel worthless, inadequate, as if you are bad. That you are the problem. You’ll end up taking responsibility for other people’s actions. It can lead to nightmares (to the point of needing medications for some), debilitating flashbacks (I quit a job once because I had a flashback in the middle of work), mood swings, intense and unexpected rage, a debilitating fear of abandonment (which has destroyed many friendships, my family in some ways), avoidance of locations/reminders (I am physically unable to bring myself to certain parts of New Jersey or California because of my trauma) and more. It can lead to suicidal thoughts or behaviors.</p><h3>PTSD in Context</h3><p>If you genuinely are experiencing any symptoms of PTSD, it is okay to seek help. I would encourage you to seek out a trauma-informed therapist/treatment program, however, so you get the appropriate support. But chances are, your bad day where your bad grade, friend drama, or embarrassing experience, did not leave you traumatized.&nbsp;</p><p>This is not to say that there could be context missing, but if we continue to use debilitating terms as trendy, we end up invalidating and removing the severity of the terms. And I can promise you this, it’s not fun. I do not enjoy having C-PTSD. So please, stop calling a bad day, a bad experience, a bad encounter trauma. Chances are, it was a moment for you to learn and grow as part of the normal human experience. But if it was more than a bad situation, and it left you with lasting effects, I believe you. I see you. And you deserve support. You deserve to heal.&nbsp;</p>

John Matthews

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